1. Embrace the Positive
One fundamental aspect of happiness is regularly experiencing positive emotions like joy, love, amusement, and gratitude. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson developed the “broaden-and-build” theory to explain how positive emotions expand our perspective and help us build psychological resources over time.
To infuse more positivity into your days:
- Keep a journal where you write down a few things you’re grateful for daily. Reflecting on the good in life, even simple everyday pleasures, trains your mind to notice and savor the positive.
- When good things happen, pause to soak in the experience. Relish the sun’s warmth on your skin, your child’s belly laugh, and the sense of accomplishment from a job well done.
- Make time for activities that light you up inside, whether painting, hiking, or watching your favorite comedy. Prioritizing moments of enjoyment, no matter how brief, adds up.
Fredrickson’s research shows that people who experience frequent positive emotions tend to be more creative, resilient, and socially connected. Positivity begets positivity in an upward spiral.
2. Connect with Others
It’s not a cliché to say that relationships are central to our happiness—it’s a finding backed by extensive research. A landmark Harvard study that followed people for over 80 years concluded that close relationships are the most significant predictor of life satisfaction.
No matter how much of an introvert you may be, we all need at least a few people in our corner for support, understanding, and belonging. To strengthen your connections:
- Carve out quality time with loved ones where you can talk, laugh, and make memories together. Put away the screens and be fully present with each other.
- Practice listening and empathy. When others share with you, give them your full attention. Aim to understand their perspective and offer support.
- Don’t be stingy with words of affirmation and appreciation. Regularly let people know what you admire and love about them. Expressing your positive regard is like water and sunshine for your relationships.
The research is clear: Investing in our social bonds is investing in our own well-being. Even one close confidant can make a big difference.
3. Do What Matters
According to psychologist Martin Seligman’s well-being theory, having a sense of engagement and meaning in life is crucial for happiness
. Engaging in challenging activities that fully capture our attention puts us in a joyful ”
flow state.”
A larger sense of purpose, whether through work, creativity, volunteering, or other avenues, gives life direction and significance.
To amplify engagement and meaning in your days:
- Consider what lights you up and loses you in the moment. Is it playing guitar? Solving a
- complex coding problem? Writing poetry? Find ways to structure more of this into your life.
- Connect to your deepest values and channel them into your goals and behavior. Whether you value compassion, courage, or curiosity, look for opportunities to embody these ideals.
- Ask yourself how you want to contribute to the world and find a way to act on that, even in a small way. Using our strengths to positively impact others provides a deep sense of purpose.
When we pursue intrinsically motivating goals guided by our values, we access a renewable source of drive and fulfillment.
4. Be Here Now
Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present with an attitude of acceptance, is a well-researched happiness booster. By training our minds to observe the here and now without getting carried away by thoughts and judgments, we can enjoy greater peace and contentment.
Some simple ways to practice mindfulness:
- Take a few mindful breaths throughout the day, noticing the sensations of the breath moving in and out.
- Try a guided meditation using an app like Headspace or Calm. Even 5-10 minutes per day can rewire your brain over time.
- Approach everyday moments, like washing the dishes or walking to work, with full sensory awareness. Notice the water temperature on your hands and the sound of leaves crunching under your feet.
- When waves of stress or difficult emotions arise, see if you can acknowledge them without getting swept away. Remind yourself that, like all things, this too shall pass.
Mindfulness isn’t about blissing out—it’s a tool for meeting reality as it is with greater clarity and stability.
5. Nurture Your Body and Mind
We often divide physical and mental health, but science shows that body and mind are inextricably linked. Taking good care of our physical health through adequate sleep, regular exercise, and nourishing food makes a big difference in mood and overall well-being.
To better nurture your body and mind:
- Prioritize your sleep by aiming for 7-9 hours per night and maintaining consistent sleep and wake times. Sleep is essential for mood regulation, problem-solving, and creativity.
- Move your body most days of the week, and do whatever feels good. Walk, dance, garden, do yoga – it all counts. Physical activity boosts mood by releasing endorphins.
- Feed yourself like you would a good friend, with plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy proteins. What we eat impacts our brain chemistry and energy.
- Be mindful of alcohol use and don’t smoke – these can disrupt sleep, lower mood, and lead to other health issues.
When you take steps to nurture your physical health, you’re caring for your mind, too.
6. Be Kind to Yourself
Self-compassion—meeting one’s own suffering with kindness and care—is a powerful but underrated key to happiness. Psychologist Kristin Neff’s research shows that highly self-compassionate people tend to be more motivated, resilient, and psychologically healthy.
You can practice self-compassion by:
- Notice when you’re harshly self-critical and ask if you’d speak that way to a friend. Aim to reframe your inner dialogue to be more encouraging and forgiving.
- Place a hand on your heart and offer yourself some comforting words when you’re struggling, like “This is hard right now, but I’m here for you.”
- Remind yourself that suffering and imperfection are part of the shared human experience. You’re not alone or abnormal in facing challenges.
- Doing a self-compassion meditation to cultivate a more caring mindset. Being kind to yourself isn’t self-indulgent; it’s linked to greater motivation and personal growth.
When we learn to be a supportive ally to ourselves, we’re better equipped to handle life’s inevitable ups and downs with grace. Be your own best friend.
7. Embrace the Full Human Experience
While happiness is a worthy pursuit, reasonable expectations are also important. Chasing a perpetual high is counterproductive and can make us feel like we’re falling short. The reality is that a rich life includes a rainbow of human emotions and experiences.
Difficult emotions like sadness, anger, and fear aren’t fun. Still, they’re not signs that we’re doing anything wrong – they’re natural and have helpful information to offer us about our needs and values. When we open up to the full range of being human, with compassion and perspective, we access a more sustainable source of well-being.
Case Study: Adam’s Journey to Authentic Happiness
Adam, a busy accountant, had always prided himself on his strong work ethic and dedication to his career. Despite his professional success, he often felt a nagging sense of dissatisfaction and emptiness. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing in his life.
One day, Adam decided to step back and reflect on what truly mattered to him. He realized he had been neglecting his relationships and passions outside of work. Adam started making
small changes, like scheduling regular phone calls with his siblings and joining a weekly pottery class.
As Adam began to invest more time and energy into his personal life, he noticed a shift in his overall well-being. He felt more connected, engaged, and fulfilled. The positive emotions he experienced from spending quality time with loved ones and pursuing his hobbies started to spill over into other areas of his life, including work.
Adam also began practicing mindfulness and self-compassion. Instead of getting caught up in self-criticism and stress, he learned to be more present and kind to himself. He realized that happiness wasn’t about achieving a constant state of positivity but embracing the full range of human experiences with openness and perspective. By aligning his life with his values and cultivating supportive habits, Adam found a more profound sense of authentic happiness and contentment.
Key Takeaways
- Regularly experiencing positive emotions like joy, love, and gratitude contributes to happiness by expanding our perspective and building psychological resources over time.
- Close, supportive relationships are among the most essential factors for life satisfaction and well-being.
- Engaging in challenging, absorbing activities that provide a sense of “flow” and a larger sense of meaning and purpose is crucial to happiness.
- Practicing mindfulness by being fully present with an attitude of acceptance can increase peace and contentment.
- Taking good care of physical health through adequate sleep, exercise, and healthy eating significantly affects mood and overall well-being.
- Treating ourselves with compassion, kindness, and understanding when we face difficulties is linked to greater resilience and psychological health.
- While it’s good topursue happiness, embracing the full range of human emotions and experiences with perspective is important. An essential part of the happiness journey is self-understanding – knowing our unique values, strengths, and needs so we can shape a life that helps us thrive.
- Happiness is influenced by the many small daily
choices about where to direct our attention, energy, and care.
Conclusion
It’s also worth remembering that what brings happiness varies from person to person. What lights up one person could be dull or stressful to someone else. Part of the journey is getting to know ourselves – our hopes, values, strengths, and blind spots – so we can shape a life that helps us truly thrive.
The biggest key to happiness is simply being willing to show up each day and embrace the highs, lows, and ordinary moments with mindful awareness, self-compassion, and a commitment to what matters most. In the end, life is made up of many small choices. We may be unable to control what happens to us, but we can decide where to invest our precious attention, energy, and care. And that can make all the difference.