This behavior not only poses a risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancies but also disregards an individual’s autonomy over their own body. While a few countries are beginning to classify this as assault, legal frameworks are still evolving.
Experts indicate that this issue reflects broader problems related to power and control dynamics in relationships. It commonly occurs when one party disregards their partner’s boundaries, turning a moment meant to be intimate into manipulation. This can lead to profound emotional trauma for the victim, affecting their ability to trust in future relationships.
The behavior referred to as ‘stealthing’ prompts many to reassess their understanding of consent. Stealthing involves secretly removing a condom during sex without the partner’s permission. It is more serious than it seems, as it is considered a form of sexual assault when consent is violated.
In an interview with the Daily Mail, Rhiannon John, a sexologist at Bedbible.com, explained: “Some people may seek to assert dominance or disregard their partner’s autonomy, driven by a sense of entitlement or toxic beliefs about masculinity.”
She continued: “Others might prioritize their own pleasure or the thrill of risk over the boundaries set within the relationship. In other cases, it can even stem from malicious intent, such as sabotage or reproductive control, where the act is used for manipulation or harm.”
“Regardless of the motivation, stealthing is a profound violation of trust and consent, reflecting a fundamental disregard for the emotional, physical, and psychological well-being of the victim,” John concluded.
Research from 2019 revealed that 12 percent of women reported being victims of stealthing, while 10 percent of men confessed to engaging in the act. A 2020 study titled ‘You Do It without Their Knowledge. Assessing Knowledge and Perception of Stealthing among College Students’ found that many participants viewed stealthing as a breach of privacy, trust, sexual consent, and health decision-making, considering it a form of assault.
The study also noted gender differences in the perception of stealthing as sexual assault, with fewer males than females recognizing it as such.
Jamie Wright, a trial attorney in California, emphasized to DailyMail.com that stealthing often arises from selfishness, control, dominance, or a lack of respect towards one’s partner, leading to severe and devastating consequences.
Wright explained: “The risks of stealthing are severe. It increases the chances of contracting STIs and there is a high likelihood of getting pregnant, which the victims did not consent to.”
“The psychological damage can also be severe. The victims tend to feel cheated and violated. Some of the effects that are usually experienced in the long run include anxiety and depression as well as difficulty in building trust in subsequent relationships,” Wright added.
Research on stealthing among men indicated that those with higher levels of hostility toward women and a history of sexual aggression had “significantly higher odds of engaging in nonconsensual condom removal behavior.”
While the legal system is still catching up with the concept of ‘stealthing’, the growing discussion around the subject is an important step towards accountability and reshaping our approach to consent.
If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this article, contact The National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673), available 24/7, or chat online via online.rainn.org.